“The thing you’ve been shamed for about your identity is nearly always a source of divergent information about our culture — and having that information is power. It can fuel cultural change AND fuel your own body of work and livelihood.”
-Kelly Diels
I grew up in a world that told me I was too much.
Everywhere I turned I received messages that told me my boobs were too big, my hips were too wide, my belly was too soft, my eyes were too expressive, and my voice was too loud.
I grew up believing that I was WAY too much.
For years, I held my breath, sucked in my stomach, and silenced my voice, hoping I could somehow squeeze into the tiny box that society told me I should fit into.
I spent my 20s combating those stories, beliefs, and behaviors. Rewriting them. Retelling them. Reshaping them.
Most days I manage to accept and even love this body, regardless of how society tells me I should feel.
But this last few weeks I started to feel that ‘too much-ness’ story creep in again.
“You’re too dramatic…”
“You’re too fat…”
“You’re too sensitive…”
“You’re just too much…”
And then, as if she heard my thoughts of self doubt all the way from Canada, Kelly Diels sent an email.
She sends one every Sunday, but this weekend it felt like she was writing directly to me.
She reminded me that my ‘too much-ness’ is actually a source of power.
And that yours is too.
Because “you’re too dramatic” actually means, “You are reacting to the extreme injustices of the world around you.”
“You’re too fat” actually means, “Your body is powerful, and that makes it harder for the powers that be to control you.”
“You’re too sensitive” actually means, “You are sensing the harm + violence that is normalized in our culture.”
And “You’re just too much” actually means, “The current system doesn’t make space for the full scope of your humanity.”
So when you find yourself feeling like too much for someone, somewhere, or something…
Remember that your unique purpose is informed by your unique and intersecting identities.
And know that your so-called ‘too much-ness’ is a source of power, and that power will lead you towards a more radical culture and a more just world.
Your so-called “too much-ness” is actually a road map for where we need to go as a society.
So please don’t shy away from the fullness of who you are.
And please don’t hide your magnificence to fit into our society’s too small expectations of who you can be.
Go ahead and give yourself permission to take up all the space you need to do the work that is uniquely yours.
Talk to you again soon.
Love + Liberation
Lauren Elizabeth